Without a Paddle

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Sat Oct 3

How I wish, Lovely Girl;

that you were talking about me.

If only,

If only.

Each day without you it gets harder to breathe and easier to cry.

Come wipe my eyes, please.

When I see your smile, tears run down my face. I can’t replace. Now that I’m stronger I’ve figured out; how this world turns cold and breaks through my soul. And I know I’ll find deep inside, I can be the one. I will never let you fall. I’ll stand up with you forever. I’ll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to heaven.

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Sat Sep 26

Secrets we used to share in the shallow lamplight. In our PJs at midnight. Right after our pillow fight. You knew everything about me, because I told you. I let you in because you were my best friend. I think she’s still inside you somewhere.

My friend, I mean.

IF you see her, have her give me a call.

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Personal.

When you’re so far away, how can I love you?

How can I be with you?

&it’s torture when he’s so very close,

so very near,

so very real.

His hand traces the inside of my thigh.

I think of you.

I’m afraid, but I don’t make him stop.

I can’t speak. He goes no farther, knowing his limits;

knowing my heart belongs to you.

So sweet is his touch…

A true gentlman.

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“ Never leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.

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BOLSHEVIKS DON’T WANT ^^

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Reflection.

Who are you?

I feel like I know your face…

Have we met before?

You’re a memory I just can’t trace…

Were we friends once?

It’s strange to meet up this way…

Where have you been?

I remember missing you one day…

Where are you going?

Oh, now I see.

Why didn’t I notice?

You are me.

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Y’know why?

Y’know why people love music so much?

Because our heartbeat has rhythm.

Y’know why people love books so much?

Because they take you away.

Y’know why people love TV so much?

Because it shows you things you’ve never seen before.

Y’know why I love you so much?

Because our hearts beat with that SAME rhythm, and because you take me away from my troubles, and because you take me places I’ve never been before.

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“You can say that you don’t miss me…

I think about you everyday.”

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B e t h a l l e n

We came from the same place, her and I.

We were best friends once. We did ballet, piano, and we went to school together.

Poor, Poor, Ally.

Our highschool dream was to ride together, be together, eat lunch together, study together, and love each other. She was my family. I’d known her ever since I could remember.

Why did it have to be Ally?

She was prettier than me, you see. They flocked to her like moths to an open flame. I wouldn’t see her or talk to her for weeks at a time. That wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

There she goes.

I remember the day I told Ally I wanted to be a doctor. She laughed at me.

“You’ll never make it!” she said. “Let’s party tonight. We’ll go out. You should come with me!”

One day I’m gonna get outta here, I thought. Ally went out alone that night.

I didn’t see her for another six months. When I finally did, she wasn’t…. alone. Her belly was protruding from the bottom of her shirt.

“Oh Ally…” I said.

“Shut up!” she screamed. “Do you think I wanted this?! You don’t think I get enough ‘Oh Ally’s from my fucking mother?!”